On Being Webmaster

1.

There is a forty hour day. You either don't know that yet or have not set your access rights appropriately.

2.

You cruise, you rule, you rock, you're the balls, if you're doing the job right according to your clients.

3.

If you're female, bless your heart, you get to be called doll, sweetheart, and babe when you deliver an appropriate basket of technical goodies. I say, be professional at all costs. This does not have to be a gender issue if you don't want it to be one. Measured silence and an accurate round of techno-speak goes alot further than cries of, "Foul!" in my experience. Suck it up, do the job right, and for God's sake don't let anyone call you webmistress. Webmoustress, on the other hand, is entirely acceptable if you have the appropriate ears.

4.

These days, being a webmaster isn't a job and it isn't an adventure, it's a life. Unless you're in bed, alone, and asleep, someone - yourself, if no one else - will be picking your brain. My advice, unless you're a glutton for punishment, is to be very quiet about your profession during social situations unless you want to spend the evening discussing everything from websites to dialup procedures. On the other hand, always carry business cards and hand them out freely with verbal instructions about when you are available for consultation. Present yourself with your card periodically with the same instructions to remind yourself that you do indeed have a life.

5.

Roll with the punches, admit your failures openly as necessary, explain but don't make excuses, and never lose sight of the fact that your job is to bring it all together so that everyone is happy. As you manage up and down and across boundaries, at once tutoring a new client in ftp, scrapping with the Internic over disputed domains, and panicking over the latest cool stuff you can`t possibly support without completely redoing the machine room, remember that even webmasters can't do everything all of the time.

6.

Oh. I forgot to mention. It also helps to know the formula for Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters by heart. Believe me, you're going to need them. ;)