Stray Cat Progression

It appears that my family has an affinity for stray cats and I'm happy to know we are normal in how the strays insinuate themselves into our lives. This reminds me almost to the letter of my parent's cat McCat (and my own Mamakin) and I will never forget the night my parents called to tell me all about him and the fact that Dad was building a house for him on the deck. I will also never forget the look on the faces of the man I was then hoping to marry and his mother, who had joined me for dinner, when I exclaimed, "You're building a cathouse?!?!?"

It should be noted that the marriage never took place, but McCat stayed and ruled the roost in his own fashion for the next twelve years.



  1. Stray cats will not be fed.
  2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
  3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
  4. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
  5. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
  6. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
  7. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
  8. Stray cats will be permitted on furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal rope scratching post with three perches.
  9. Stray cats will sleep outside.
  10. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
  11. Stray cats will sleep in the house, but not in our bed.
  12. Stray cats will sleep in our bed, but not under the covers.
  13. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
  14. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
  15. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it.
  16. Stray cats will not CJDJBEFUBEDBVKJB KNCX ZXMNLJN!


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